Every human being has ambition and many put forth all efforts to achieve a goal in life. After the goal is successfully achieved, generally we will feel proud or happy. However, what happens if after reaching our life goals we don't feel happy? This situation is called the arrival fallacy, which is an incorrect assumption when reaching the "destination".
Arrival fallacy departs from ideas that are ingrained in a person since childhood. People tend to recognize the key to happiness in life which is related to getting a decent job, making a lot of money, getting married, and so on. These things seem to be used as benchmarks for achieving happiness.
1. Emergence of the concept
The term arrival fallacy was coined by a teacher and writer in the field of positive psychology, Tal Ben-Shahar. In his book Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment, he defines the arrival fallacy as the popular illusion that achieving a certain goal will lead to happiness. This concept leads to the idea of achieving goals in the work process.
He also mentioned that the arrival fallacy has been experienced by celebrities and other successful figures. In the end, they experience mental conditions and substance abuse (even after achieving their dreams).
People who experience the arrival fallacy often feel unhappy, especially when success cannot fix their unhappiness. Not only feeling disappointed, but also can end up with feelings of hopelessness and depression. Not infrequently the arrival fallacy only exacerbates unhappiness and the mental state itself.
2. Cause
There are not many studies that specifically examine the arrival fallacy and its exact cause. Factors like having meaningful relationships and focusing on the positive can trigger that happiness to come. However, there are times when external success such as earning a lot of money, reaching the pinnacle of a career, and gaining a proper place in social status may not bring happiness (in the long run).
Society has recognized the ingrained benchmark that happiness is very closely related to the achievement of goals. For example, research from Harvard in 2014 found that today's generation of children are still "fed up" with the idea that personal achievement and success are the keys to happiness.
3. Mechanism
Achieving life goals can trigger reward centers in the brain that are associated with a calming effect. This feeling of achievement becomes part of an inherent identity in society. Thus, people adjust themselves in such a way as to achieve goals. However, in the end the achievement turned out to be less satisfactory than expected.
When a person is too focused on future result orientation, he is more likely to fall into the illusion of unattainable perfection. Over time, this perception can develop into a cycle of seeking external things (such as material objects) to fulfill and complete life. That way, there are always new goals to replace the goals that have been achieved.
4. Strategies to overcome wrong benchmarks in setting life goals
The point of arrival fallacy is that, even if a person fills his life with increasingly ambitious goals, sometimes that achievement does not always bring happiness.
It is important to understand that setting a life goal for "success" does not necessarily lead to unhappiness. This relates to the answer, whether the purpose of life affects the mood that will actually bring you down.
The concept of setting life goals seems to need to be improved to avoid setting the wrong life goals. Reported by Psych Central, there are several simple ways to set healthier life goals, including:
Rediscover your own version of life's mission: Through internal exploration by asking yourself questions like, "When do I feel alive?" or "Money is no big deal, so what am I going to do?" may awaken a person to his true mission in life.
Emphasize the process, not the end result: Research shows that high achievement is the result of an intrinsic drive. It has to do with wanting to do something for an inherent interest. Successful people tend to enjoy the learning process. They also do not mind if the process continues beyond the expected time estimate. In essence, they focus on the happiness that is developed in each process towards the goal. It's not just material oriented.
Commit to a system: Setting bold goals in life can be a fantastic catalyst for change. However, just setting is not enough. It takes a commitment to the process of taking action that is carried out consistently.
Embrace the idea that success is dynamic: Understand that success metrics (eg career, love, etc.) are dynamic. Define success in your own way and optimize the opportunities that are encountered along the path of life.
5. Tips for implementing a positive life to ward off the arrival fallacy
A rival fallacy is quite common. Some people may find it difficult to cope, especially if the context has significantly affected their lives. However, there are actually some special tactics that can be used to prevent the arrival fallacy, such as:
Trying to be "present" in the moment of life that is being lived: When you focus on achieving happiness based on achieving your version of life goals, you indirectly bring a positive influence in your future life. A number of studies also confirm, to find the path to happiness must be done with the habit of living "in the moment".
Keep a gratitude journal: A study in the Journal of Research in Personality explains that keeping track of what's good in life is another way to focus on the present. This action is considered an effective way to concentrate more on priority things that make you happy.
Considering therapy: If the arrival fallacy results in an episode of anxiety or depression, it is possible that a qualified professional may advise you to consider treatment. Studies in the Ontario Health Technology Assessment Series reveal, therapy is a good way to express feelings by managing feelings.
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If the arrival fallacy is a condition that you have experienced or are currently experiencing, always remember not to take it as a very serious problem. This feeling is common to most people. Everyone must have felt anxious, disappointed, even depressed by the realities of life.
In the context of a balanced life, it is important to view life as a series of imperfect but beautiful practices to be lived. Therefore, if we are able to see the world from a unique perspective, then the arrival fallacy can be easily countered without causing other, more complex problems.